FINALLY, A NEW RAPTORS REVIEW!
Hey People what's up. It's been a LONG 5 months, well actually time went by pretty quickly but nfjkasfjksafkjasf....
You'll have to excuse my horrible writing skills today. I went home sick with a migraine and my brain is functionining proppperlllyy, i got the migraine in music class oww my freaken audition.
Well here we are with a new season, new reviews, new players, new coach for high school team... is he better than Eli? I dont know, I hope so.
In band we played a song called Eli's comin. I just hope this isnt some sort of omen.
Well lets get to the review. From now on I'm gonna start writing under my real name Cameron Forbes, memebre of SubDivision X, represented by the wheelbarrow because I carry the team on my shoulders.
The Raptors are 4 and 7. Period. They are no where near playing .500 basketball. The reason is obvious. There is NO MONTROSS. We have the Montross lookalike and playalike Greg Foster but he just cant compete. I can't imagine them in oneonone, it would be the most boring game in history. "Montross fumbles to foster who fumbles it back montross with the airball foster fumbles the rebound to montross who airballs the dunk what an exciting game people its THE BATTLE OF THE BIG WHITEY BUTTAFINGAS!"
But I digress.
I thought the Raptors would be the the best team in the eastern
conference right now, what with hiring Jay Triano as head coach.
Man that guy knows everything! They should have resigned Curry,
he still needs a chance to take a big game winning shot instead
of Carter... speking of Carter whats up with that guy? I looked
up pathetic in the dictionary and his picture was next to it.
Well actually it wasnt but it should be. And did you hear how he
danced on the stage at a Nelly concert? Does this guy love to
dance or what? In commercials, concerts. And what does he say to
the press? "Im an adult I can make my own decisions"
how can he go from wussing out of a gma ebecause of his wittle
sore knee and then tell the world he "is an adult" with
a straight face? I wouldnbt be surprised if half of Carter's
fortune comes not from endorsement deals but from all the money
he wins in poker games, man how did that guy keep a straight
face? unless he actually believes he "is an adult"
For the Raps to win a game they need
10-20 point games from Boogie, MoPete, Voshon, Davis, and 20-30
point games from Carter. They could not lost if these players
scored these numbers consistantly. And don't get your hopes up
this weekend people, they arte playing the Sixers back to back
and hopefulyl Alvins back is Ok so he can cover Iverson half
well.
I predict 4 and 9 by Tuesday, hoy-oh!
Here's my fantasy. Trade Carter for Pedrag Stoyacavich (escuse my spelling) or maybe for Bologna Sandwich;) they sound the same, and EVERYONE of their centres for Vlade Divac. Trade Boogie for Lenny Wilkins (which reminds me of a dream I had the other night where a coach of a team came into the game:)) and then find a magic lamp, becuase in my mind right now the only thing that can fix this team up is a miracle genie...
KAZAAM!!!!
Written By Cameron
Forbes
Nov 21, 2002
SubX 4 ever, gotta love it live